Learning Curves, Uneven Development and Letting Go

One of the foundational pieces of wisdom I have gathered over the years is the truth that we ALL have uneven development.

We have those places where we are brilliant - with genius, master’s level skills. AND we have places where we are undeveloped and still at a beginner or prebeginner stage. With most of who we know ourselves to be existing somewhere on the continuum between these two spectrums.

This is true for us in every dimension of our being - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively, professionally and psychically.

And of course one of the most dangerous things we can do is to compare our less developed areas with someone who is more developed or has mastery in those same areas.

AND I have discovered yet again - as I have been building out this new podcast - that it is equally dangerous to measure our relative level of development against our own vision of where we would like ourselves to be.

This comes up for me often when I’m creating. And especially when I’m on a learning curve. Like the learning curve of how to produce a video podcast (after having only ever produced audio - and that with support).

But I’m an intuitive learner. As well as multi-passionate creative (HD Manifesting Generator!) And often think, “how hard can it be?”

BUT you see, I have grand visions. Like multimillion dollar blockbuster visions - my life as a musical with BIG production numbers visions.

I always have.

And so my budget and capacity to produce those visions not surprisingly keeps falling short. And this time is no different.

But the gift of approaching my wisdom years is I now no longer have to beat myself up for being exactly where I am. Nor do I have to live with heart crushing despair of settling for less than my blockbuster vision.

I can accept myself and what gets created with more grace now.

BUT that’s not to say I haven’t still tried to gild the lily (it’s so much prettier that way). And achieve perfection while learning and mastering multiple new platforms on my own (doing it solo this time is a story for another day).

And find myself getting very attached (teeth clench) to certain things.

All of which led to some tears and panic and spinning out. And moments of driving myself absolutely mad. And then praying to be saved from myself.

Ahhhhhhhh

In this moment I can laugh and have compassion for myself.

BUT I’m still 4 days from The Crone Codes launch and not complete with building everything out so I know better than to assume all of that madness is behind me.

So I pray. And I pause - when I am getting ahead of myself. AND I reach out for love and support - from God, my inner Crone and my community.

And I practice letting go (and simplifying - sometimes). (I just really love complexity and embellishments.)

So come launch date all of the bells and whistles may not be fully operational. And that's okay.

Because what’s more important is to share the stories and truths of women embracing their wisdom and power. To get the Crone Codes out there. And to restore the mantle of Crone so women of all ages have something meaningful to aspire to.

So that’s my commitment. To keep showing up for that - as well as sharing behind the scenes glimpses of my journey with it - in all of its mess and glory.

Are you with me?